During the second half of May: South Africans held municipal elections, the Rapture didn't happen (again), it was finally confirmed that South African photographer Anton Hammerl had been killed in Libya, and a 500-foot Bin Laden emerged from the sea near New York to terrorise the people of the US (and some Canadians).
Currently watching 2 indie singers have a sensitive whisper battle. It's really--oops. My typing is drowning them out
In my defense, it's exactly the kind of weird shit South African politicians do.
Dear political party,u tweeted me, smsed me,emailed & visited me. U said u loved me, needed me. When will I see u again after today?
Pretty happy. Perfect 300 at the bowling alley last night. Still don't know why they have a scale there.
I want to know what's beyond service delivery? Service delivery is meaningless if you have no psychosocial plans for aggrieved recipients
I'll make you a deal: if you're wrong on the Rapture, we get gay marriage.
The death of #AntonHammerl highlights the plight of freelances, who take risks - financial & physical - but must fight for fair pay
I bet the dinosaurs all died out in the velocirapture.
I just stepped on a Lego piece in bare feet and accidentally won a krumping contest.
I think we should all pretend the #rapture is happening so that when Harold Camping gets left behind later today he'll be livid
Turns out, you can make a random observation sound insightful by preceding it with, "Turns out."
Did you know that an anagram of "Osama bin Laden" is "Obama with some letters left over"?
An ad for a penis pump, targeted at distinguished seniors, ran during Leonard Maltin. I guess I'm not quite ready for Leonard Maltin.
Crisis Of Faith: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have, they told him. But the scuba tank kept knocking over the communion wine.
"Forward!" he cried, from the rear ... and the front rank died.
My thoughts go out to the families of those who have been crushed by the #500FootBinLaden. If you have footage of their deaths, let me know.
Angry typist! At the coffee shop! Typing Angrily! For She Is Angry Typist!
Is it really necessary to write, "barely used" in your Bow-flex Craigslist ad?
1) Watch woman fall off treadmill.
2) Start to tweet about it.
3) Fall off treadmill.
4) Tweet from locker room in harrowing shame.
europe : currently debating internet freedom; south africa : currently 'debating' media freedom
Are you a thought leader? Fill out this form with your mind and submit it to google.com/jobs
We'll get right on that.
Oh and I know 'smoking fags' means assassinating people in same sex relationships in the US but I am British and this is a global village.