Monday, August 25, 2008

Is This The Most Hated Woman In South Africa?

Brain Box

She has a British accent, so possibly.

I actually have some respect for her as it takes some serious skills to be able to spew a two-hour monologue of utter bullshit at a camera night after night after night in a way that keeps people glued to their seats. Watch some of the others and you'll see what I mean. They're not nearly as engaging.

When I was in London visiting friends in 2006 I got caught by one of these late-night game shows on TV. I'd never seen anything like it and some complicated puzzle had me mesmerised past 3am as I waited with increasing impatience for someone to phone in with my answer. Eventually someone did and she was told she was wrong so, unwilling to be defeated, I re-evaluated the possibilies and came up with two more potential answers. And then I waited. And waited. And waited some more. The English shows have far more callers than the South African ones and the stream of wrong answer after wrong answer fuelled my increasing suspicions that I might be right. (And my increasing suspicions that perhaps the majority of the British public aren't that smart.) Eventually I couldn't take it any more and realising I was sacrificing precious hours of vacation sleep I dragged myself off the couch and (with admitted reluctance and a great amount of fortitude) switched off the TV. Oh, the horrors!

This experience strengthened me, however. I am now immune to these shows and rather than waste my life trying to figure out the answers I watch, hour after hour, with the utter conviction that I cannot be fooled into watching.

By the way, bonus points for every punctuation error you see on the screen. That's the game I play. You can also drink vast quantities of Amarula every time she says: "Start the clock" or hurl abuse at the screen every time someone gives an answer someone else has already given.

After all, you have to kill time somehow while you wait for etv's late-night "erotic movies", which, in itself, is just an excuse for more drinking games (or so you say). Odds are you're actually just biding your time for the ad breaks so that you can watch the overly explicit porn ads and use the R7.50 you've managed not to SMS to Brain Box as an investment in something that heralds a bit of a return.

Because that's the way it always goes. If the gambling doesn't get you the porn will.



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