Another collection of oddities from the streets of Cape Town (not literally, of course - I'm not that
bad). As usual, most were obtained on a walk down Adderley Street.Above:
Golden Touch pamphlet.
Golden Touch wants your assorted bric a brac so, you know, if you have any gold bars lying around....
(And let's not comment about what a "Golden Touch" might entail. Especially one in capital letters.)Above:
Conkon Perfumes pamphlet - front.Above:
Conkon Perfumes pamphlet - back.
So, all those assholes that keep accosting me on the street at all hours (I know - don't ask me why I'm on the street at all hours) with their perfume selections are able to do so because they came up with R460 for the "capital investment". I have even less respect for them than I had before. And they may only want "friendly" customers but they are decidedly unfriendly themselves. Beware, all ye who are, or may be future, tourists: keep away from these guys. (The illustration is proof! How insane is that?! That's exactly what happens*.) [This is the joke-free portion of the blog post. We ("We"? This isn't a group blog. That should be "I") take safety very seriously at Cape Town > South Africa > Africa > Earth
. As for the actual Cape Town, in South Africa, in Africa, on Earth, that's another matter. Bring pepper spray!]
Oh, yeah, and "Conkob"? They got the con bit right.
*If you're wondering the word balloons don't have any legible text in them, but I can paraphrase.
Guy With Perfume: "Hey, lay-dee..." (It's irrelevant that's he's stalking a man.) "...you want some nice perfume, man?"
Guy Running In Fear For His Life: "Fuck off, you fucking fucker!"Above:
Lady doctor FaziRa & ALIBAWA pamphlet.
I was especially excited to receive this flyer because it seems we now have a lady doctor in Cape Town who can perform miracles - what new, fandangled things will they think of next, I ask ya (besides, of course, the blend of "America & African Science")? This one is apparently especially helpful if "you want to produce" or "remote control your lover". (And who doesn't want that? At R50 it's a bargain! I'm in!)
You can also go here for cancer or diabetes. There definitely aren't enough places where you can buy those diseases.Above:
Welcome From The United States Of America (a pamphlet).
More penis enlargement here, direct from America! Wow! I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. After all, didn't America invent penis enlargement? (Or was that ego boosting? I never can tell the difference.) We also have the "lover remote" again. I'm very tempted to have a consultation at both offices so that I can then run a group test and take notes. But I need a volunteer. Dilemma! Takers?
can not apply, and neither can YOU
. And you both know I'm talking about you. Except one of you may not ... but I'm saying it anyway, just to be clear: YOU
can't. I'm sorry. No.]
Um ... at this point people stopped giving me flyers. I don't know why.
Labels: Cape Town, Notes From The City, PhotoBlog